Monday July 23, 10:08 a.m.
Just a couple of minutes ago, I got the call from the school asking if I could go in this afternoon because someone fell sick. I immediately declined....which disturbed me. I told the lady that I'd already had something lined up from last night, which is not true. When I first signed up for the school months ago, the supervisor there informed me that the latest they would call me for a supply assignment would be the day before, and that teachers who are sick should call the day before as well. Well, I was already aware that both policies would be broken easily.
I don't think it's so much that I dislike being called in suddenly. In fact, I don't think that's it at all. If I really loved my kids and the environment there, it would be a no-brainer. What time and where is what I would say. I'm just wondering if I'm really enjoying my time as a teacher there. Now, when I say 'enjoying my time', I define it as whether my students are enjoying my class. And the fact of the matter is, I'm not sure. Of course, being a supply teacher means that you're invading the normal flow between the regular teacher and the students, so there is that initial tension between students and me...and frankly, having been a teacher for so long, I know that I will never please everyone.
Actually, one of the supervisors asked me a few weeks ago if I would be willing to upgrade to a regular position. I had to decline since I now had potential gigs with the translation company. Plus, I have a few things I'm not too thrilled with in terms of administration over there. I'm still wondering about just pulling out of the school altogether once the Fall starts up. I've never really felt all that comfortable over there.
And since I started becoming a "regular"fixture on Mondays there and a translator, I've left my hopes for becoming a writer very much on the back burner which I don't think is right.
These are all probably coming off as excuses but the fact that I'm even blogging about these is cause to think about what I really want to do.